Planning to revamp the blog, start updating and put in it a hint of somewhat renewed attention. I did not update because we have traveled a lot of places during the last year, we had to adjust and settle to a new country and a language which makes German look wonderful (I have no clue whether I'll ever be able to learn Czech). Besides, my son needs a great deal of attention and he occupies 99,9% of my time, so minutes and hours have turned into the most precious commodity. It's not easy, and although I am usually bursting with energy, my son has his ways for draining it out of me, so I am doing my best to cope with everything.

This is a post I've written last year, but did not publish it until now because life kept me way too busy :). I'm back, dusting the cobwebs off.

I haven’t updated in nine months, life has been busy and hectic (in a good way, Alhamdu lillah); so I’m scribbling here, in yet another attempt to break the vicious cycle of blog neglecting. Since I’m in ‘internet range’ again, I want to say that I do have a grand story: we’re preparing to welcome our first baby into the world. Alhamdu lillah, it’s already been 38 wonderful weeks into mom-to-be mode. I’ve developed the birth plan three times and altered it two weeks ago for the umpteenth time, I hope I will be able to stick to the latest one (In sha Allah), anyway I do not really have another choice, it's already too late and the life altering moment is approaching. Anxiety and stress are ramping up, though I do my best to keep my cool and focus on what I have to do now. We've finished shopping for the baby's things, I've already prepared my bags (I have two bags, not one as deemed normal, but I do not want to forget something I might need later). The pregnancy was great so far, a text-book pregnancy according to my doctors, and Alhamdu lillah, I'm still a hurricane of energy.

I cannot believe how time flies, I feel as if yesterday I found out I am pregnant. It took a while until this idea sank in, because at first I could not believe my eyes and I called my husband, who was at the airport embarking on a business trip, then called my mom and my brother. After spreading the news it felt somehow real. I went to the doctor, who confirmed the pregnancy and gave me a prescription for prenatal vitamins, folic acid and some other medicines to be taken in case I notice something weird. Alhamdu lillah, it wasn't the case, but I consciously bought all the items on the prescription, to make sure I have them at hand. My husband came back with a huge bag of neuter coloured baby clothes and some pregnancy outfits (which I never wore, cause my baby bump started to show really late and I was able to wear whatever I had in my wardrobe - until the seventh month, when I bought two pairs of snuggie comfy size 28 jeans, cause my regular size was not fitting me anymore). The abayat have been my closest allies in terms of maternity clothes, though now that I'm approaching my due date I feel as if the fabric might burst any second. I'm extremely anxious to meet my baby boy (though the doctors are not sure, since none of the ultrasounds predicted my baby's gender, from the first moment when I saw the positive pregnancy test I was sure I'm carrying a baby boy; my husband is afraid I would be confused in case it turns up to be a girl and every time I refer to the baby as 'our son' he quickly corrects me - 'or our daughter'). The pregnancy turned out to be an awesome experience for me, Alhamdu lillah I had no discomforts, no morning sickness, no back pains... Only some episodes of insomnia which started to become frustrating, but that's the norm for almost all pregnant women, so  I am not complaining.       

Fair = beautiful & successful… says who?

Case in point: a plethora of (racist) commercials advertising cosmetic products that contain skin lightening agents. Most of them are featuring obviously Caucasian looking models. Unhappy because of your ‘dark’ skin colour? Chill, here’s the solution: use our skin lightening products and you’re not going to be a wall-flower anymore, you’ll be marriage material and you might also get the job of your dreams.

How to make such a commercial (yay, just check the ‘storyline’): cam focused on a girl’s face (she must be Caucasian, so the producer must use some special effects to make her skin look dull and obviously not-white-enough). Then he has to make sure she seems really unhappy because of her skin colour, since no one is aware of her existence and she is just sitting there, in a corner, socially rejected. Give the girl some face cream (or - even better - allow a ‘white’ & ‘successful’ friend to recommend it to her) – but be careful, it must read WHITE on it. The word combination is not very important, use whatever fancies you, but do not forget about the white thingy. Ok, then we get to the point when she uses the cream for the first time and as a consequence - people actually start to look at her… wait, it’s more intense, they stare like a bunch of freaks (men and women; they gasp in amazement when they see the white girl, sheeesh, where did they find women willing to play this part?! The staring&gasping part, I mean! It’s blatant racism), they are able to see that she is there, cause she has become whiter. This must be some miraculous product, so she keeps dabbing her fingers in the cream and spreading it on her face. The whiter she gets, the more attention she receives. Then she meets a guy who cannot take his eyes off her, strangely mesmerized by her white skin. And instead of telling that guy ‘Go away, superficial weirdo, you pervert!!!’ she sheepishly smiles to the cam. Or she shakes hands with her future employer, perfecting the deal, instead of telling him ‘You moron, skin colour has nothing to do with people’s intellectual abilities!’. End of commercial, everybody is happy. Except for the ‘dark’ skinned people, that is. Because they are being spoon-fed the idea that there must be something wrong with them. Shooo, go to get that cream, it will fix all your problems, duuuh!

And these commercials do reach their targets, mark my word for it. I have seen all these products in pharmacies and supermarkets, I’ve heard girls asking about them and I’ve seen people buying such things. I did not know that there’s a whole industry manufacturing products designed to lighten your natural skin colour. Of course I was aware that there are some face creams ‘committed’ to this purpose, but I did not expect to see that they’ve thrown on the market whitening scrub, soap, shower gel and body lotion. And I’ve just narrowed down the essential items most women need to perform their beauty routine. Their ‘whitening’ versions run on the borderline of racism, but (moral aspect put aside) the main problem is rooted in their ingredients, because most of them contain hydroquinone, able to cause irreparable damage to the skin, although they try to underline other components’ efficiency, such as Vitamin C, claiming they are the ones to do the trick. I do not think that these products are here to fill a market demand, because it’s obvious that most of these commercials try to induce the idea that skin colour lightening is on high priority, so that people might achieve what they long for: marriage, job, success and so forth. Don’t bite it, approach this in a safer way: go for an at least 15 SPF sunscreen, avoid sun exposure for the sake of your health and be happy with the skin colour Allah Subhanu Wa Ta’ala gave you!

I have another problem with some of the commercials around here, the ones featuring Muhagabas (women who don the hijab), but that’s another rant in itself, plus I have to research some more on this topic.

Ramadan mubarak

First of all, a rather belated Ramadan mubarak to all the Muslims who happen to drop by my blog (as late as I might be, but better late than never). May Allah Subhanu Wa Ta'ala accept our fast, prayers and good deeds.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Hijab

Awww, Sarah woke up as a happy camper today! Alhamdu lillah, I received a package this morning, in good order, yes, yes, yes - 20 hijabs, three prayer outfits, hijab pins (in black and white), colourful underscarves and siwak (some sort of natural toothbrush) - sent all the way from Jordan. Now I just have to distribute them to sisters who are in need of such items, In sha Allah. May Allah Subhanu Wa Ta'ala reward our sisters from Jordan for everything that they've done, In sha Allah, Ameen ya Rabb. Yes, and all in all, I'm happy, Alhamdu lillah!

New scents

Although I am an extremely picky girl when it comes to scents, I have almost fallen in love with two perfumes. The weird thing is that both of them are produced by Calvin Klein, I stopped buying their products a couple of years ago. Ok, the first one is Euphoria and I found out about it a couple of weeks ago. I saw the commercial obsessively aired on TV, but it did not make me wanna rush and try it. I liked the packaging though, and the colour of the perfume, namely pink. But one day, when I was on my way to the library (yeah, to the good old library) I decided to go to the mall and buy ‘Coco Mademoiselle’. I got there and I was looking for the Chanel corner, but I did not see it, so I decided to ask for help from the nice sale ladies. And guess what they told me? “Sorry, we do not carry Chanel products”! Shock! I started asking myself “Well, if this is the only mall in town, where from did I buy the No. 5 a couple of months ago?!”. On second note, that girl was smart, cause I only mentioned the name of the perfume, not the producer, and she knew it was from Chanel (yea, I am used to ignorant sale ladies when it comes to buying branded cosmetic products here; once such a ‘helper’ told me to try the foundation I wanted to buy for myself on the fair-skinned girl who was accompanying me, though I have a rather dark complexion; samra all the way, yupeee!). So I turned around, because I wanted to leave, but I was set on buying perfume mode. Then the pink advert for Euphoria caught my eye. I asked for the tester. Of course they sprayed it on a piece of paper, duuuuh, I have no clue why they adamantly use paper all the times! When testing for perfumes, everybody knows that rule no. 1 is “Do not try smelling the perfume sprayed on paper, smell it only on skin itself”. So I proceeded accordingly and I was pleasantly surprised. I sniffed the spicy notes instantly, this is a good sign. I was very much reminded of the orient and its heavy perfumes, its hypnotic fragrances, I had to buy it. So I choose the 30 ml version, EDP, because I had no clue how it was going to behave.

And because my budget was not affected that very much, I also tried Obsession Night (I used to love the old Obsession, the one that came on the market in the ‘80s, but this one is even better, though I do not usually believe in the ‘new and improved’ products). Obsession Night is even spicier than Euphoria! So I bought that one too… My tastes are changing, I used to buy CK One when I was a teenager, I still have around 15 ml in a bottle, cause I do not like it anymore; and of course Eternity from CK – I have Eternity Perfume and Eternity Moment, I was obsessed with them when I was in high school, now I do not like them, I spray them on my skin sometimes but they do not inspire me in any way.

Accepting mistakes as life lessons

File this under ‘nattering’ (sounds better than rant): I’ve always been a friendly, easy-going, flexible and good-natured person. A good person by default that is… I’ve met a lot of people in my life so far, Alhamdu lillah, and some of them were not even worth talking to (yes, they were obnoxiously evil, selfish and incredibly self-centered, I wish I had never crossed paths with them). Then there were others who managed to leave a lasting impression and teach me a lot. I’m talking about that handful of people whom I became attached to and ended up caring for them and even loving them. So I’ve met a lot of bad-natured people, many of them I have already forgotten and eventually forgave.

Generally speaking, one can assert that there are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. And the takers will never hesitate when meeting a giver, they would surely take advantage of him every time. I am a giver. And usually good-natured people attract the wrong sort, because being nice is considered to be a weakness instantly spotted by takers. I’ve always been the nice & quiet girl, trying not to cause any fuss, doing everything I could in order to help someone who seemed to need me. I feel them sniffing around me, with fake smiles plastered on their faces. The next step is taking advantage of their opportunity. They inevitably win. I dread those moments when bad-natured people celebrate their selfish, completely undeserved victory, and I realize I’ve been tricked once again. I go back into my shell and try to get out of it, wounds healed. And the stronger Sarah emerges. In fact, this is all about mistakes I haven’t really made, but somehow I do my best to learn something from them. And the real mistakes I made played a significant role in shaping me and preparing me for life’s challenges. Who would I be without them? I’d be another Sarah, for sure. Truly, the experiences one encounters, however hard or easy they might be, are the ones able to change ones personality and character. All one has to do is learn from them. Proverbs on mistakes inspire me, I really do like this quote: „The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing” (John Powell). We should all start by accepting mistakes as precious lessons, opportunities for personal growth. This might sound to you like a cliché, but give it some thought and see that the old cliché just might be right.

This goes to all those ‘takers’ who came across me and shamelessly used me: you did not win more than I did. Actually you’ve encouraged me to do something about my personality and know myself better. You’ve made it easier for me to be myself. And precious & envied I am! I have just embarked on a personal journey aiming at always improving myself. Enjoy your stay in your despicable, selfish little world! Save your pathetic arguments based totally on envy for yourselves and for the ones belonging to your kind. You cannot touch me anymore, cause I cannot be bothered. Meeting most of you turned out to be an amazing experience! Thank you for boosting my self-esteem so much, I’ve no clue what I would have done without you. Yes, I thank all of you for shaping me into the person I am today.

Still searching for my signature scent

People are different in their obsessions and mine is perfume. I do not consider myself a high-maintenance girl, but when it comes to perfumes I have expensive tastes. I do not want any perfume – I only want the best, being commited to high quality and attractive packaging.

I’m so into those scents that reek of elegance, confidence and femininity. Awww, and what a difference a spray on the skin makes… It changes my mood instantly, in a good way, of course.

I should have stated from the very beginning that my only qualification for perfume blogging is a passion for fragrance. Ah, and the experience I’ve achieved so far. For instance now I have over 10 bottles of perfume, a variety of favourites. I rotate them and this prevents my ‘nose’ from getting used to a certain scent to the point that I do not smell it myself, so I stay away from over-applying perfume (in my book this is the biggest mistake a perfume user could ever make).

My favourites are Chanel No.5, Miss Dior, Coco Mademoiselle, Shalimar, Samsara, Shafali (Shafali by Yves Rocher used to be my favourite a couple of years ago, but helas they discontinued its production; I still have a bit more than three millilitres on the bottom of the bottle, I save them for the day when I get married In sha Allah). And despite the fact that most of the bottles are more than half-full, I keep searching for my signature scent.

In a bid to find THE ONE, every time I go to a perfumery I keep sniffing all the perfumes that attract me with their name, packaging, colour, brand - whatever. Speaking of ‘the one’ - I have Dolce and Gabbana’s ‘The One’, must admit that its dry down is good, I do not like the top notes though. And smart Sarah – I bought the 75 millilitres version! I hate my shopping sprees sometimes!!! Aldehydic top notes are simply gorgeous and while I’m at it, I might sink in a piece of info: Chanel No. 5 was the first fragrance created with synthetic floral aldehydes as top notes. The EDP is luxurious, its scent carries well from morning to evening and it’s my favourite these days. Too bad it is such a demanding perfume, I think a woman needs a certain attire in order to wear it. And flawless make-up. And an excellent frame of mind, confidence, femininity, in fact an eclectic mix of ultra feminine attributes. The weird thing is that I remember quite well I could not stand it a couple of years ago. I am happy I had the opportunity to re-evaluate it and I ended up understanding its incredible profusion. This has to do with me turning into the dalloo3 girly-girl that I am now, I used to deny this side of me a while ago. I would gladly turn it into my signature scent, but I need something less demanding, I need an oriental fragrance that feels better in less formal clothing.